Idealess

After seeing it with my own eyes today,
I wonder what happened yesterday means anything.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Bored at work.
YAWN~

i miss you too

Random

My new found idol:
Jesse McCartney







































jesse mccartney told you so


how do u sleep/beautiful soul


It's middle of the week today.
2 more days to weekends.
Usually i have no plans on my weekends.
But those are 2 precious days which I'm off from work.
2 more weeks left before sch starts again.
I still can't believe that we are in the same IS class for the whole of next sem
haha..
Finally get to see the 'in class' you.

Just another day

Supposingly,
its our 4 months anniversary ever since we last started off again.
But its almost a year that we started off our chapter.
I'm still trying hard to accept those words of you saying that we could only be friends.
I can't help thinking that how come there isn't any turning back for us.
And i can't accept the fact that you want to be with other guys in future.

All these words,
makes me bleed internally.
This fate which i can't accept,
is worser off than being dead.

How i wish i can still call you my dear.
Just to blame myself for not cherishing you.
Leaving you with no choice but to leave me.

如果说分手是痛苦的起点
那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
我会发着呆然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
回想那一年你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前

I guess the old saying was right.
I shouldn't have paid for that pair of shoes.

Just wanna say this,
maybe for the last time,
Chua Min Li,
I love you.

Sunburns

Today was actually a very boring day for me.
Slacking at home and waiting for the time to pass by.

Fortunately,
Jason went to sentosa today with his classmates.
I managed to hop along.
Spent half a day there.
if only life could be as relaxing as sitting by the beach.
Picked up volleyball today,
it was quite fun,
yet painful..haha

Met with a near accident in the morning.
A trailer nearly rammed into us today.

Suffering from the sunburns now..ouch!
Had been spamming my body with aloe vera gel since I'm home.

Interesting

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Bored at work

Had a very heavy lunch just now at sushi tei.
It was grace's last day at work. All of us treat her lunch.
Its quite exp.
$33 per pax, haha.
After lunch i had nothing left to do, completed my task quite early, haha.
Have been slacking since 3.30pm.

Next week onwards will be quite hectic at work.
Thats when i really start to work, haha.
And i will lose someone to talk with,
well grace have been entertaining me every day since i arrived 2 weeks ago.
it will be kinda weird without her sitting in front of me, haha.
Nice meeting you girl.
Wish you success in your future.

While you are hitting balls with your stick in camp,
I'll be figuring out how to spent my weekend.
I got no idea what to do.
Running seems to be a good idea.

i believe in karma,
as its happening to me right now.

That's all for now.

Still straining

They're all yesterdays,
have to take them all away.

Take it like a man,
i need to stand up on my feet now.

I'm sorry for the pain and worries i caused.

Neck strain..Ouch!

These few days have been busy and tiring for me..haha.
Trying to maintain jogging every night,
so that there's no reason for others to label me fat.
Lots of event also happen this few days.
Results was released on Mon, We finally talk again.

Yawn~~
I still feel I'm lacking of sleep,
although I tried to sleep early every night.
I wanna extend my work for another week,
but still unsure whether i'm needed as i just mastered everything i need to know ytd only.

For now,
i just wanna cherish every single moment with you.
I dun care about the future,
as we still have the present to live through.

All i wanna do is to hug you tightly and tell you how much you mean to me.

Kelong Trip

I'm back. It's sucha nice experience there.
The first impression of the place was,' WOW, what a 'nice' place to be'.
The lodging facilities there were not very good..haha.
But, that place is a hidden gem.
The everlasting sea breeze, fresh air, delicious seafood, sunrise and sunset.
Its the kind of place which really take away all the worries you had.
Under the starry night and moonlight is relaxing.














Sunset.















Night Catch! lots of fishes.















My dearest cousin and me.

Seeing everyone going there as couples hurts me. I wasn't suppose to go there alone, haha.
This is the kind of pain i get with whenever i see those couples cuddling up together with one another. Once again, thanks J&J for letting me go there and spoilt both of your time there.
Too bad i can't join all of you to Bangkok in Dec, damn.
how i wished you were there with me.

sleep well gutu.
Busy girl.
Don't tired yourself out.
Take care.

zombie days

i can't stand it anymore. I'm still suffering from lack of sleep.
YAWN~
i had already set a deadline for myself.

Thanks J&J again for being so understanding and there for me whenever I'm down. I'm not helping anyone, I'm helping your relationship.

sorry Jason

Welcome Back Uncle Chua!

Surprisingly, when i fell asleep ytd night, the whole world was looking for me.
I managed to catch up with julye only. sorry for those whom i ignored while asleep.

Once again, J&J is undergoing a rough patch in their relationship. Mainly because of me, i did not know julye was talking to us on msn with jason account. This cause julye to get so worried again. SHIT! stupid mouth..
Back to work!

How i wished i had someone to quarrel with.
Feeling her love the hard way.

Just Another Day

Well....
Finally had that heart2heart talk with you ytd night.
It cleared my mind of all the useless worries and thoughts.
It marks an end and a new beginning in life.
I can finally feel myself now, and the life I'm having now. Thank you very much for it.

Work is a bore today. Treated uncle Henry lunch. I'm totally amazed by the food we had today.
Although they seems small in size, but they sure seems very filling..haha

Met J&J and mario for dinner as usual again. Well i can feel Julye is a little pissed with my stupidity, and the 2 big guys kinda look down on me as 'bui kan'. We went Alexandra for dinner, and i swear, as i took every spoon of the black pepper chicken rice in, i feel like puking..haha

We over to Queensway shopping centre for a walk. Coincidentally, Gutu was shopping there too. Keep playing hide&seek with me. Thanks for the belated birthday, i din see that coming..you got me fooled..lol..Will get something for you on your birthday..haha

everytime i shower,
i remember the moments we had back then.
but now its all over..haha

Worried..again

After reading your blog post today, u make me worry again. Is family happiness very important to you, even at the expense of yours? I still can't buy the story of you already forgetting what we had in the past. All the sour, sweet, bitter, spicy moments, are they so worthless? You might think you are nobody in this world, but have you ever thought that you mean the world to someone?

I'M THAT SOMEONE GIRL!

Never say you feel guilty by my actions. Even there's minimal chance of turning back, I'm still willing to be there for you. All I ever ask for is you giving me the opportunity to prove to your parents that I'm the right guy. Taking care of you.

Everyday i wake up and look myself in the mirror, wondering, what have i done to others. Most of the time, the sight of me disgust me. I felt even disgusted when you told me about us not being together. You were the only thing which i had that i can be proud of. But, sigh.

All i wish for now, is for you to overcome this period of instability. I don't wish to see you living in a life full of unhappiness.

Pondering over my mistakes

restrainting myself

Its my fourth day at work in my uncle's company. Still trying to get friendly with PHP codes. I feel that I'm wasting my uncle's money. He's paying me just to learn, not work. He's a nice guy, and i feel bad about this.

Well..i still can't give you up yet. Whatever i see every second, will be randomly linked to the times we had together. All the teasing, laughter, bickering and quarrels we had, those memories. You had already become a part of my life, just like the oxygen i need to breathe, the water i need to drink everyday. It seems like we did a lot of stuffs together. SPI trip, NDP, Singapore Flyer, even numerous trips to jurong business park.

Maybe u do not see any significance each event holds, maybe i gave u the impression that i feel bored whenever i go shopping with you or i gave you the impression that i need you to be by my side for other reasons.

I still remember you told me after the SPI trip, you feel so safe when I'm around that you are ready to surrender your future to me. At that time, it was the best moment of my life. You melted me with that sweet love you had for me. That was not it yet, then came around NDP. The day which we spent time squeezing our way through the crowd and running across roads with helpless policemen looking on. My birthday, its my bad that i tried to play boss with you early that morning, I'm sorry about it. On the Singapore Flyer, how i wish we are trapped in it on forever.
Every moment with you, breaking down to even walking with you to class every Tuesday and Wednesday last sem, i enjoy them. I feel that with you beside me, i have all that i need. You're my everything.

I still remember those love quotes you said for me:

till lines tattooed on our foreheads,
want you to be there for me on 3april!



Yes i don't understand the mental torture you are undergoing now, I'm selfish, self-centered thinking piece of crap. I'm the cause of it. I really wished i could prove to your parents that their daughter is in safe hands and i want to take care of her for the rest of her life. All the quarrels and conflicts in thinkings we had are parts of a relationship, we have to face them together as one. I just can't stop wondering if you really mean that there's no turning back for us. I really hope its just angry words from your mouth for the time being.
I'm sorry for causing you and your mum pain and tears. I had become the devil of you.

iloveyou
imissyou
ineedyou

Since leaving you alone from now on can ease your pain, i guess i have to do it, unwillingly.
Walking through chinatown brings me lots of pain. Seeing old couples supporting each other while walking, reminds me about what you said, and what happened 31/08/08.